We went to Visionland, y'all!
So…… We bought a season pass to Alabama Adventure, AKA Visionland. I will never not call it Visionland so if that bothers you, buckle up buttercup-we’re going on a ride!
It all started with the entrance drama. I knew how the rest of our trip would go after the first five minutes of walking through the gate. Listen, y’all. My kids are crazy. Crystal’s kids meet my kids with the same amount of insanity and raise them 10 fart-points.
So, there was pushing and shoving and impatience & whining & pouting and and and….. It was mostly from the 9 year old. Surprisingly, Andrew & Jamison were capable of picking up the pieces, hugging it out & trying to move on with attitudes of gratitude! SCORE!
After we made it through the gate, everything went collectively to turds. Literal turds. I forgot to pack pull-ups and wipes and swim diapers for the toddler - oh HI there! My name is ADHD, I mean Jami! -. The very first thing that Jamison did once we hit the water park was leave me an Excitement Log in his only pull-up. Queue tiny sad violin-playing cricket on my shoulder. So, that was a nightmare. Thankfully, Crystal had a spare swim diaper and we managed to survive the rest of the trip, surprise-free! More on that, later. Not that you need more on that, but I digress.
Remind me to tell you the story about driving home with a naked toddler in a Britax carseat with napkins haphazardly sprinkled and tucked around him as “oops-guards”. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE PULL-UPS AGAIN! ( By next year, he probably won’t even need them…… What a stupid lesson I learned!)
Derpy Coaster of Doom
Anyway, we hopped on ALL the rides Jamison was tall enough for, & Andy just kind of did his own thing because….. A GIANT derpy caterpillar toddler roller coaster wasn’t very appealing to his refined 9-year old taste. * twiddling mustache between finger and thumb *
This thing shook me all day long and caused about as much bruising as the Rampage. We did not ride the Rampage this visit for…… personal reasons?
And a special thank you goes Crystal of CMD Photography & The NotSoSuperMomVsSociety blog for these smashing photos of myself. I will cherish them, forever!
Now that’s over with. Let’s move along to less-traumatic looking rides!
Sodor, here we come!
Next, there were trains and droppy-downy things and unlimited free fountain drinks and sunshine! Jamison and Finn rode this Choochoo while Andy contemplated his life choices leading up to this point.
The Boat Ride from Hell
Andy did a little exploring while we let the youngun’s go for a boat ride. This was probably THE most boring thing to sit through from the entire day. Sorry boat-ride-guy…. Your ride was lame. But we had great fun watching from afar and snapping away, anyhow!
“What do you mean ‘I can’t swim in the boat water’, mom?!”
You’d think they would be satisfied with the ride itself and not feel the urge to deconstruct it and build a “Swinter Swonderland” ( Where my Phineas & Ferb nerds at?). That’s okay, I couldn’t fault them for being bored. It really seemed more like an infant ride than a toddler/preschooler ride. Maybe it would have been better at nap time?
Teacup Shmeacups
Oddly enough, Andy was not “too cool” to spin a teacup for his baby brother.
However, baby brother was ENTIRELY too cool to enter the ride the correct way, resulting in staff-intervention. “No climbing you little turd!” Is definitely NOT what Visionland Staff said to him, but i’m fairly certain it crossed ALL of our minds, simultaneously.
They spun themselves pukey & I didn’t make it into a teacup for pictures before they were ALL done, over it and moving to the next thing.
We did a LOT of running and chasing and “GET BACK HERE!”-yelling this day.
Suffice to say, you could have fed me oats & barley because I was hoarse for DAYS. * Ba Dum Tis *
Then came the FROGS.
If you’re afraid of frogs, leave now. You won’t like this part.
This goofy and very colorful ride was ogled from a distance and the two littlest could not WAIT to “hop” on ( haha get it? “Hop”? Because they’re frogs?) Jamison was actually not thrilled about it after it started moving, but he ended up liking it at least a LITTLE bit.I think he may have even smiled just a little!
Swing Low Sweet Chariot
Then came the swinging. Jamison was absolutely DEVASTATED that he was not tall enough to ride this ride. Andy said “ No worries! I will ride it for you and let you know how fun it was!” Next trip, I am riding it, too!
There’s just something about swinging.
Speaking of swinging, we recently had 20+ trees cleared from our back yard and we are about to start our wings project! Stay tuned for info on that.
Dandy Andy Toes <3
Results may vary
Clearly Andy had a total blast & only reported back things that made Jamison jealous. He reached for Everett every chance he got. They were so happy, together.
Andy actually talked about this ride for a while after we left being so peaceful and relaxing compared to everything else (except the lazy river, of course)
Last one there’s a rotten egg!
Jamison caught wind that we were heading to the waterpark, next & it was a race to the finish line! ( This is the part with the Excitement Log(tm) ). It was in this moment that I realized I needed to pack his leash, next time!
It took what felt like 2 HOURS to get to the water park from where we were, due to all the ADHD and children swirling around. lol. But, we DID eventually make it to the water park & that’s what counts, right? Right.
Brace yourself for some unbelievable adorableness ahead. Hint : we have water babies!
SPLASH!
Does this even need words?
Yes. The answer is ALWAYS yes, pay attention!
We got the Excitement Log handled and immediately went splashing. This water had more chlorine than a Twenty One Pilots song! Jamison went down several times by himself & several others with his big brother. Finn & Jamison even went down some, together! There are TONS of bloopers from this in the blooper reel at the bottom. *
oh, brother
This day created some of my favorite images of Andy & Jamison playing and having fun together. If you’re wondering where Noah was- He was at home missing out because he stayed up all night playing Fortnite & didn’t wake up when we were heading out. Ya snooze ya lose in this household! No worries, though. We went to Visionland more than once and Noah did decide to tag along a different adventure.
C’mon C’mon!
Jamison dragged me around that water park like it was nobody’s business!
Side Note: NEVER make the decision to not wear a swimsuit to Visionland like I did. I figured i’d get my feet wet a little…. But I ended up actually going down the slides WITH the children.
“C’mon C’mon!” He said as I was wringing out my soaked shirt from being dunked into a kiddie pool. At least I didn’t wear white…
And then…
Then, Crystal slid happily ever after with Finn & Everett in tow as requested by Finn. It took absolutely FOREVER to get the slide stranger-free enough to get some cute pictures!
The Missing Pieces
This is a place for cell phone images from Lazy River because I would not take my camera into the danger zone.
FREE FALL into oblivion
So, Andy wanted to show off his lack of healthy fear and boundaries by taking a trip down the tallest water slide in the South. No, really…. IDK about world records or anything, but this thing is longgg with 3 g’s, Fasttt with 3 T’s, & SCARYYY with 3 Y’s!
First, Andy and Everett made the several-hundred-step trip to the top, chickened out & came ALL the way back down. THEN money got involved. I offered Andy $20 to FREE FALL and boy is money a great motivator! He did it, looked awesome in the process, scraped up his back pretty badly, then went again for double Jackpot!
Because I know you’re curious- he spent ALL $40 on V Bucks for Fortnite & yes, he does regret that decision, down the road.
Blooper Reel:
